School Report and Friends
It arrived yesterday, to nicely round off an odd day. We haven’t shown it to her yet. She’s in too good a mood to ruin with the B2 in Art. I seriously cannot understand that grade for Art. Her work this year has been some of the best she’s ever done. She’s worked her ass off. Mammy2 reckons it might be to make her work harder. She works hard. The rest of her grades were okay, but she’s not going to be happy. I forsee explosions. She was hanging with her mates yesterday, thankfully. Its good for her to be around people her own age and act like a teenager. She’s getting excited about her birthday lately. I have to stop yacking on about Pride and remember that I have to make a big deal about her day as well. Such a bad parent sometimes. However, I am bringing her clothes
shopping on Saturday.
* blesses self *
She hasn’t been in ages and I have promised her. Never break a titch promise. However we also have a family dinner with Mammy2’s family that day, so at 9.30 on Saturday morning I’ll be standing outside the changing room of some shop that sells bits of material that sometimes pass for tops.
Having a bloke as your best mate sucks. At times. I mean, I go through this from time to time where I get annoyed or upset with C, the best mate. And he has no clue. For example, the 2 of us have worked together on aP since its start. We came up with the name, developed the site, tested it and worked our asses off on it to make it the success its starting to be. Finally, we have some funds and so for Pride I wanted to get merchandise. We ordered it and I was soooo excited. He rings me yesterday to tell me they are ready to be picked up. Because I am also having baby attempts he insisted on me calming down before he would agree to meet me and go pick up the shirts. He could tell apparently from the way I was talking that I was getting all worked up and stressed. At one stage, he was actually on the phone telling me to calm my breathing down. I told him I wasn’t going into labour.
We met and chatted. I haven’t seen much of him lately so naturally I was chuffed to see him. He asks what I’m planning to do when I get the t-shirts. I hadn’t planned that far ahead. We get them, he tells me to ring Mammy2 and see what the sceal is. He, meanwhile, has arranged to meet a mate that he hasn’t seen in ages. Some bloke he used to work with. I thought perhaps we could celebrate getting the shirts. Not even go out and go mad, I had a baby attempt that night so I had plans. But I thought he could have spared a half an hour for me. To chat or whatever. I started getting annoyed and he hit me with the “You’re just as bad as L”, his girlfriend.
At this stage, I shut up. I was not going to turn into another one of the nagging women in his life. He hailed me a cab and waved me off.
I was really uspet yesterday. I mean, he couldn’t even spend 10 minutes talking to me? Grabs a cab, pops the t-shirt box into it and then says bye. The funny thing is he’ll have no clue why I’d be upset. This is the way its going to be and I have to get used to it. See him on his terms whenever he remembers to meet up.
I am and always have been insecure about my friendships. Once I get over the whole “this person likes me and wants to be friends with me”, I start to think about what happens when someone better comes along. What happens when they tire of me? What happens? You’d think at this stage I’d be confident in who I am and what I mean to people. I am a Leo after all, we are fabulous.
Rant over. I need to just leave C to it and when he calls and wants to meet, enjoy it for what it is. He’s not going to change and I can’t handle the hurt and upset every time he’s just being himself. Oh and that saying about it the people you care about most hurt you the most is a big pile of pants. I don’t like it.
