Lets do an insemination, lets make a baaaaaaaaaaaby.
If you’re a fan of the L word and have see the extras on the dvd, the title of this would have made sense. Sometimes I feel like that. Its like lets make a baaaaaaby, Mammy2. Of course when I say that, she usually throws a pillow at me. So the first attempt in a long time. I could just picture things inside. The ovaries, reformed characters that they are. Wandering around the fallopions, praying, adjusting their habits and listening to Enigma and chanting. Suddenly the alarm bells sounds. Word from the rest of the body is there’s something afoot. Its not the second Tuesday of the month and yet they are sensing something is going down. So to speak. More checks.
They sense a hint of testerone. They send someone up to the eyes to check. Direct phone call back down. One yoghurt pot sighted. Not Petiti Filou though, so could be a false alarm. Hold it, there’s a syringe. Either they fancy a challenge whilst eating or we’re under attack people. Repeat, under attack. Incoming sperm. Assume emgency positions. One ovary starts applying lip gloss and adjusts her tights. The rest start praying. In latin. Half way through the first Rosary, they can hear someone speaking french through the large wooden door. Lip Gloss ovary throws open the door to greet Pepe Le Sperm, complete with slicked back tail and a bunch of flowers. Je T’aime he mutters. Lip Gloss Ovary swoons whilst the others bless themselves.
Okay, I need to get out more. We wait and see if they are at all intererested in partaking in the swimmers. Our man said he did his fertility dance. We didn’t ask for details. He also showed us his tea towel. This is not a euphism for anything ye dirtee feckers. Of course the kid was muttering something about being traumatised for ever and ever as a result of us having an attempt. I muttered something back about us being tramatised as parents to a teenager. She had a good halloween and seems to be suitably contrite about the whole Friday incident.
Needless to say, none of us are looking forward to Monday morning and facing the school with her in tow. She spent most of yesterday in bed, obviously having been up all hours the night previously celebrating Halloween.
Work has been between 2 extremes, yesterday, nada. Our connection to the servers was down so fan fic beckoned. Not that I needed any assistence in that area. Today, I barely had my jacket off and there were servers to be configured and new connections to be set up. Things have calmed down for the moment whilst I wait for someone to sign off on the work I’ve done so far. There’s a firefox launch party coming up and I think myself and the best mate C managed to wangle an invite to it. Don’t ask how. I’d say it will be the biggest collection of nerds, in a while. So far, I have made out one other girl’s name. I don’t mind as long as I get a t-shirt or something. Its a party to launch version 2.0 of the browser . Yes, I assume you have fallen asleep and probably don’t give a damn about firefox. But I like it.
Got a letter and not one but 2 postcards from R in South africa. She sends me a postcard of Peig Sayers from Africa? Mad lady, she’s on a road trip at the moment. I’ve been looking up the places she’s been and South Africa is a really beautiful country. She was driving through the wine region a few days ago, Stellenbosch and Franschook and all the rest. She sounds like she’s enjoying herself. She hasn’t killed her travelling companion. Yet. Another week and a half to go. Its still possible.
I am still halfway through writing a letter to her. My handwriting is so bad and it takes AGES for me to write anything. But I like the idea of writing an actual letter. So old fashioned I am.
