Therapy and pasta.
Being all things to all people. Its a difficult one. Because lets face it, its not possible. You just cant.
You have to prioritise with people. Anyone who knows me well knows my family come first, second and third. Close friends I consider family. So I guess the fact that the kid is doing much better is a testament to myself and Mammy2’s perserverance with her. We are exhausted. But she’s doing great! Which is the main thing.
Yesterday’s session was heavy going. Straight from a mad day in work, onto a bus into town , then a taxi to Solas and then an hour long chat about feelings and what not. After Monday morning in the school, the long chat I had with the kid on Monday evening and now this, I am all talked out about what happened on that Friday. I’m tired of analsying things to death. I just want us to get on. Therapy is fairly tough going and I wouldn’t be a fan. That silence where you know she’s waiting for a response from you. The kid chatted loads, about memories she had and stuff about SF*. As C , the counseller put it ” So you associate alcoholism with your dad who smelled of wee and drink” We cracked up laughing, but it was an apt description of him. She remembered one scene in particular. Christmas funnily enough, we’re all christmas fans!
She was about 3 or 4 and we said she could stay up late as she was all excited about the presents and whatnot. But then she remembers someone falling in the door, she doesn’t remember his face at all, just this shadow and he roared at her to go to bed. So I brought her into the room while Mam
I presumed walloped him around the place. Once he had falled into bed, the drunken lout that he was, we came back out and she was allowed sit up and watch the christmas lights. I never thought she’d remember back that far. I’m amazed how any of us still love christmas, with the amount of times SF* ruined it for us. It was down to Mam.
There was lots of chats about family and memories, at one stage I thought C was going to ask me my feelings about SF*. I wasn’t going to answer them as I have no feelings. I’d identify more with a stranger on the LUAS then I would with that alcholic leprechaun. I used to hate him, which meant I obviously still cared enough. Now there’s nothing. The sooner he pops his clogs and does us all a favour the better. Not that I worry about him getting near us. He wouldn’t even recognise us.
But I will protect the kid. He will never get his drunken paws near her. Knowing him, he’d want to pimp her out for the sake of a few pints.
The session was tough as always, we’d talked things through so much, myself and Mammy2 were just flopped in the chairs. Afterwards, we treated the kid to dinner out. She was delighted. We were starving as well, so we headed to Bottacellis for a nice meal and a chat. She was full of the joys of life. She’s pretty pissed off with the school though. And this I have to agree with her on. She rang the school to ask if she could get notes and stuff from the classes she was missing and was told that she might not be allowed because she was suspened? What a pile of shite? Like, she’s suspended, yes. But she’s working away on her studies and now she can’t have the notes. Feic sake, I’ve a good mind to go up to the school and wallop that year head. Only for that wouldn’t be setting an example to the kid. On one hand I tell her, violence is not the answer as I pummel someone who’s annoying her. Such a role model I am.
*SF = Shitface, ‘affectionate’ term for the sperm involved in our creation.
