Only with the kid can you be pissing yourself laughing one minute and near tears the next. On my way home from work the kid rings, to ask me to get munchies as there was nothing left in the house to eat. Obviously, this was a tradegy. So I slagged her a bit, which she didn’t respond to and muttered something about it being a shit day. I decided to leave it and got munchies as a safety net. You never know when I might need them. When I got home, she was tucked up in bed. Mammy2 was with the family for the day as it was the aunt’s funeral in the morning. I grabbed a bite to eat and decided I was going to try training. It was such a lovely evening, it would be shocking to sit in on the computer. She was fast asleep.

Training went really well, its been over a year since I trained and although it was only an hour. it was a tough class. I was wrecked by the end of it. When I got home, I had a chat with the kid who was up from bed and on the PC ’studying’. I had though she was going to go on a rant about how the school is oppressing her and all that. But not so.
She’s a bit upset about mother’s day stuff being everywhere. Its stupid, I guess I just forget that she would still have strong emotions about Mam. When she’s in good form and acting like a regular teenager, I forgot all that’s happened to her. As if that wasn’t enough, she had Biology and they were talking about cancer cells. The teacher, ignorant and completly tactless, said to the kid
“Your mum died from bowel cancer didn’t she?” How on earth do you respond to that?
The kid said she didn’t. The teacher persisted, “It was cancer though wasn’t it? That caused her to die?” Talk about hammering the kid over the head.
The kid finally had enough and responded:
“No, she didn’t have cancer, there was some complications as a result of an operation and she had an open wound which poisoned her blood stream and that’s why she died”.
This was greeted with silence and thankfully the teacher shut up. The muppet. I swear, what sort of thundering eejit is she? Firstly to bring up something to personal and secondly in front of the whole class?

Mammy2 gave her lots of hugs and I offered to make tea. Sound familar? I am a champion tea maker. I asked how her day was apart from that and this is where I think I need to start taking drugs for this to make sense. For some reason she’s been going into trances lately and now she knows the reason. She’s being inhabited by the spirit of an older woman who was a Satanist. Not a sadist just so we’re clear on that one. Apparently she’s been going into
the trances and reliving whatever the woman went through. Or something. So she reckons she needs an exorcism. Needless to say I was not impressed. I mean, I’ve seen The Exorcist and The Exorcism of Emily Rose, so I know what goes on at this things. I told her I’d get a cruifix and some holy water and try my hand at it. She gave me The Look. My hair caught fire. I stopped suggesting. She mentioned she wasn’t catholic and so the ‘exorcism’ would
be performed by her fellow wiccans. Once I had put out the fire on my hair, I asked who these ‘fellow wiccans’ were. They are well used to chasing away demons. I think she was referring to Charmed and that these people weren’t real but I didn’t want another Look. Supposedly a demon tried to get in near the kid last night. At this stage, Mammy2 was buried beneath the paper and trying to stop from laughing. Poor thing.

I expressed my discontent at the thought of a bunch of wiccans performing a cleansing ritual which may or may not result in her being ‘exorcised’. She said that she wasn’t stupid and they weren’t going to do it at the apartment, she was going to a park. I was none too thrilled with that idea. What if something went wrong? God only knows what this lot are up to. I decided to let it rest until she actually annouces she’s off to get exorised.
Mad young wan that she is.

A trip to the dentist this morning resulted in her being told she needed 8 fillings. 90 euros each. 760 euros in total. I will never again give about having to pay money for her Debs or her leaving cert. Seriously, its an obsence amount of money. But it is for her health so I guess it has to be done. Then she turns to be and says
“Shelly, I think I’m losing weight, you need to start cooking dinners for me”
Emphasis on the you. I actually laughed at her. She wasn’t impressed and wheeled out The Look again. Serisously, she had to be kidding. Even if she wasn’t, there was no way in hell I was going to start cooking every day for her. She’s 17 years of age. I cook dinner at the weekends if she’s around which she never is. Honestly, she must think I came down in the last shower. Just got a phone call from her now and she wants me to bring home an apple tart. She nearly got involved in a cat fight at school and she couldn’t stay and talk because she wasn’t wasting her credit on me. Charming.

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