Hanging in there
According to the gospel of Wikipedia Karma is defined as follows:
Karma (Sanskrit kárma, kárman- “act, action, performance”[1]; Pali kamma) is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Dharmic religions understood as denoting the entire cycle of cause and effect described in Hindu, Jain and Buddhist philosophies.
I have always believed in the idea of it and I’m starting to wonder if its the cause of all the current crap. Because I messed up somewhere along the line, everything is now gone to hell in a handbasket?
Perhaps I am thinking too much, I try to avoid it where possible. I believe you can actually give yourself a brain meltdown by pondering things. For me, things are as straightforward as you want them to be. Life is as straightforward as you make it. That’s just my humble opinion.
I am at home sick today from work. A combination of being exhausted, a tad strung out and not able to face the day was the result of me staying in bed. We caught up with the mate S yesterday. It was great to chat to her and hear all the stories of where she’s been, the characters she’s met and the sights she has seen. She looks so well, I guess 6 months enjoying life will do that for you. I had to head home early as I was tired. For a change. Pasture beckons. Lately, Mammy2 has lasted longer then me of an average night. That’s how bad things are. I arrived home to an empty apartment. The kid had her french grind and obviously then just left. It as nearly 12, well after curfew. Many txts later, don’t you love txt messages? I HATE having a conversation over them. However, she wasn’t answering the phone. Very mature. I will summarise a 15 minute long txting conversation. She needed ’space’, some time to get ‘her head’ together. She was tired of being a burden on us. Conviently, the cad S found her whilst she was wandering around the city at that time of the night. Again, she obviously thinks we came down in the last shower. He just ‘happened’ to be wandering around the same area as her.
He is bad news and if she starts dating him, he will set foot in this apartment over my dead body. I now have a baseball bat, granted its quite small but I reckon it could still turn him into a enuch pretty quickly. Twat that he is. Its obvious she’s coming down off the meds, as her mood switches so quickly. One minute she’s laughing and chatting, the next she’s talking about suicide and dropping out of school. If we make it through the next month, I reckon I’ll be commited. Mammy2 came home to find me sitting on the couch in a panic about her. Mammy2 is of the opinion to leave her to it and she’ll come home when she’s ready. I, however, would not be able to sleep with that worry. Sometime after 3, we heard the door. We decided to leave any conversations for today as I wasn’t able.
I decided to stay and home and try and relax. I hope to find some time to relax later, she’s on her way back from seeing the counseller. Her phone is fecked so she had to head to the Meteor Store to see if she could get a new one to replace it. If they don’t replace it, chances are we’ll have to get her a new one. To be without the phone is inconceivable for a teenager. We are supposed to have a talk. I can’t wait. I have booked her in to see the Doctor on Monday and I can only hope he’ll put her on something because I don’t think we will survive all of this.
I managed to find a place for when we head to Athlone in a month’s time, it looks nice enough and not too expensive. I also finally rang the Aunt. She’s on the other side of the family, but the only one
we really want to keep in touch with. We were supposed to visit her at christmas, but as I was working for most it, we didn’t get the chance. I mentioned the kid’s 18th and would they be interested in coming up for it. Not really expecting them to say yes, but they sounded interested. I want to make sure the kid has a great day and party/dinner with all the people she wants there. She gets on really well with most of our mates, we would consider close friends of the family, family or framily, the lovely american term 
She is going to have a fab birthday, surrounded by the people who love her.
Its going to be a big occasion considering the last 3-4 years.
As a complete aside, never type the following into google images “apron” duster. Don’t ask why I wanted an image of that. Let’s just say I was looking for some sort of housework theme. That sort of
housework I can do without. I was shocked!
Tonight , I am supposed to be heading to Kiss. The kid got wind of it and is mad to try out her false id. Can you just see me, bringing the kid on the pull? Seriously. Can you imagine?
