Sunday night brought with it a horror I’m not sure I can describe. I will do my best to put into words the horrific spectactle that greeted us once we had finished watching the arty laserbeam flick When Night has fallen. To be fair, it was an old film and it wasn’t bad. When you compare it to the drivel that was Claire of the Mood * shudders *, then it looks like a classic. There was of course lots of ‘arty’ shots of hands and sheets. Anyone who is unfamilar with laserbeam sex would be forgiven for thinking we must get extremly turned on in the duvet and sheet section of Arnotts. I suppose it makes a change from trying to shag the new saucepan set. I digress. We switched off the Dvd and sure enough and episode of Law and Order SVU was on. Why we chose to watch this when you consider the horrific story lines is beyond me. I’m sure a therpist would have a field day. Perhaps this was the tactic being employed by the normally very lesbionic Mariska. This is what greeted us. I mean, even as a lesbian, who happens to be a Leo and so can appreciate bad hair and good, that is bad, its so so bad. Perhaps she’s trying to shake off the laserbeam audience but one only knows it could attract a completly different crowd. I mean I hear the mullet brigade are looking for a new spokesperson. It was worse, but thankfully google images decided it was much to horrific to share with the audidence. This is the closest reproduction I can find.  And see here for what she normally looks like. * swoon *. Shagarific. If it is a word. We were positively horrifed.

I was listening to this song yesterday morning whilst walking to work and it was quite funny because it was like part of a soundtrack as lots of women walked past me. What’s even funnier, well in my head anyhew, is guys. I like women and so appreciating them from an aesthetic point of view is not a problem I have. However one should be subtle. Guys are anything but. I mean, they will stop what they are doing and continue to stare. Nearly falling over. Then turn to their mates and have a<br /> conversation about it. A number of times there has been an extremly well dressed woman ahead of me and the vans all going the oppisite direction will stop traffic just to have a gawk. Cause we all know that’s what she’d appreciate being oogled at like that. It goes back to the need for vans to squeeze three or more men into the front of it. Keep an eye out, and I can nearly guarentee that if you see a van, there is no way there will be on person in it. I think its a prerequisite for buying the van. Do you have at least 5 mates who can squeeze in and will stare at nearly every woman who walks past? The van is yours.

I was in no mood for training yesterday, it was Monday, the evenings are getting darker but yesterday evening was an exception. It was a wonderful autumn evening with the smell of winter just around the corner. I popped into Marks to get salads for Mammy2 and sauntered home. Trying every delaying tactic I could think of so as to miss class. Of course I got home on time, so changed into my gear and did some housework whilst running around the place with one runner on. Mammy2 arrived to find me in mid-babble to the goldfish about how the back of the fridge gets so dirty when we are never walking in the fridge. They thought I didn’t notice as they hid their teeny goldfish wellies covered in marmalade. I should have known. They used to be so trusty worthy. I think perhaps they are having a mid-life crises. Do goldfish have mid-life crises? I mean its not as if they can buy a little sporty number and pick up a younger then normal girlfriend. Fish that is. Perhaps we should get them some women? They are after all 2 blokes, much like the odd couple, maybe they miss some female company? Or perhaps they are gay? Can goldfish be gay? Have we forced them to be gay by not giving them any female goldfish? I will conduct some studies, such as wrapping a feather boa around the bowl and seeing if they break into any Judy Garland gurgles. I’ll keep you posted.

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