Incensed
All the processing in the world still doesn’t make sense of this so I thought writing it down and ranting about it might. We haven’t had the greatest relationship with the in-laws up until recently and we’ve been doing quite nicely. We go out for dinner every other month with the rentals, Mammy2
and the sister go to the ruggers lots and sometimes I can deal with the other sister-in-law who’s passive agressive gets to me but she is Mammy2’s sister so I try and make an effort. I’ve since realised why she irratates me so much, apart from the passive agressive ness, is that the fact that she’s very like her mother, the mother-in-law.
Once it became clear that we were more then just a couple and that we had a teenager, they gradually moved into an acceptence phase of us being a family. Granted no family they would put a label on but a family. The kid was invited to all the their family dos, they were invited to the kid’s bday bash etc. Christmas presents exchanged etc. All well and good. Things improved greatly for everyone. They were much more accepting of our relationship. To the stage that a couple picture sits on the mantel. A couple picture of us, by the way. Not just anyone 
There we sat yesterday at the annual christmas lunch. The inlaws head shopping and get it all done in one day and then they take a break and we meet them So all talk of pressies and naturally we gave some hints for the kid. And were met with blank looks from the family quickly followed by “but sure she’s an adult now” and from the sister-in-law I wanted to wallop as she sat across from me “I don’t mean to be funny but she is an adult and sure if she wants to join in the kris kindle then fair enough” The kris kindle draw for the whole family had already been done. I didn’t want to make a scene so I said fair enough and moved on. Meanwhile Mammy2 was having a similar convo with the mother-in-law whilst the other sister who hadn’t said anything offered up that maybe she’d like vouchers. Etc. The conversation moved on but I was fuming. Not just because they were deciding as a collective not to get her anything but the principal of the thing.
When the other nieces and nephews turn 18 is that it? Sorry no more presents for you? Or is it that the kids life isn’t as tragic as it was back then so she doesn’t need a present? Or more realistically is it because she doesn’t live with us anymore and therefore we are not responsible for her. We are back to being the couple we were and she’s out on her own with no family? Now that I think of it I can’t believe we bought her such a fab pressie? After all she is 19. She should go back to just being the little sister and lets stop with this guardian nonsense we’ve being going on about. What a slap across the face.
After we all parted, I turned to Mammy2 and ranted, and thankfully she was in the same vein of thought as me and was upset as well. We’re not sure what to do now. I think Mammy2 is going to say it but I can’t see how it changes things. I also said that if we are lucky enough to get pregnant, will they suddenly want to be part of that child’s life because it didn’t start at a heartbroken teenager? Its at the cuddly cute stage ergo we’ll be grandparents to it? I’m not going to have that argument in my head as it will only make me more angry. Happy christmas me arse.
