Karen Walker Quotes
Watching some more season 7 of Will and Grace last night and realised how much I love Karen! So I found some of her best quotes 
Oh kids ruin everything. I mean look at the stitching on this. You cannot trust a ten year old to do a good hidden button.
Oh I have half a mind to throw this martini right in your face! [starts drinking it]
Gosh, I don’t think that I’ve ever been stressed out. Why would I be? I’ve got practically no responsibilities, my job’s a breeze and I’ve got a KILLER rack. Good morning.
[to Rosario]: Uh, okay. I don’t know what you people do in Costa-Guata-Mexi-Rico… But here in America, we don’t eat birds.
Honey, when I agreed to drive you to the set, you didn’t say it was on Staten Island. How the hell am I ever gonna get the stench of landfill and working class families out of tropical lightweight wool?
[looking into a mirror] Hello Starshine.
Good Lord. I can’t believe I’m at a public pool. Why doesn’t somebody just pee directly on me?
[to a waiter] Hey apron. Who told you you could make eye contact?
Oh honey, I would, but… I don’t want to.
By your inflection I can tell that you think what you’re saying is funny, but… No.
They’re trying to make gay people straight? Good Lord! Don’t they know what that’ll do to the fall line?
[Grace enters wearing a cow-print skirt] Woah. Got skirt?
Gosh, I just love gambling here in Vegas. Sure, I may lose $100,000 but the drinks are free so it evens out!
I thought, finally. A man who can make a woman feel like a girl. And who can make that girl feel like a slut. And who can make that slut feel like a woman.
Oh, coulda shoulda prada!
Well, deal me in. I’ve got a lifetime membership to the losers club. Hm-mm. I’ve been dumped by one-ton billionaires, heads of state, and every member of Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young, but I’m not naming names. What’s so great about another person, huh? All they do is manhandle your boobs and eat all the ham.
Oh honey, I love you like the mother I had committed.
You know what else is sad? Poor people who have dreams. [pause] Well that’s not sad as much as it is extremely funny.
Sorry I’m late. Oh God, that sounded insincere… I’m late.
You say potato, I say vodka.
Ahh to be surrounded by your closest friends on your birthday. Well it woulda been nice! Instead i’m stuck with you guys!
Jack: Hey! I’ve got the best Birthday present for you EVER! Karen: Is my new liver here!?!
I really hope that Pharmy and Back-up Pharmy don’t find out about eachother! That’s a catfight waiting to happen!
Grace: C’mon…Live and let God…Take it one day at a time. Karen: Who taught you that hate speech?!
Grace, that blouse hurts like a hangover!
Karen: “Oh honey, look on the bright side.” Grace: “What brightside?” Karen: (looks confused) “What? What do you mean - its just a saying honey… I mean..?” (shakes head in despair)
Im too tired to slap you; Bash your face against my palm.
Now Jacky…God didn’t give me the ability to…play the piano,or paint a picture, or have compassion..
Good Lord, that walk from the elevator is gonna give me calf muscles like a Hungarian shot-putter.
Beverley: Karen Walker….I thought I smelled gin and regret. Karen: Beverley Leslie…..you look more like a woman every time I see you.
[on hiring Jack to play a straight man in a commercial] No one in the world would believe you’re straight. You fell outta the gay tree, hitting every gay branch on the way down. And ya landed on a gay guy… and ya did ‘em.
I’m sorry; you must have mistaken me for someone else. My name is Anastasia Beaverhousen.
I think you’re missing the silver lining here. When you’re old and in diapers, a gay son will know how to keep you away from chiffon and backlighting.
Honey, I’m busy, touch yourself.
“Yeah? Well now my drink’s talking, & it’s saying ‘Drink me! I make life more fun! Everyone from a high school kid to a bum on the street knows that.’”
“Honey, I would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick…”
“Well don’t let it get to your head, your hair is already such a disaster that the Red Cross wouldn’t give it coffee.”
“Honey? Did you think you could get into heaven wearing body glitter? ‘Cuz you can’t…….No.”
If my brain could still send signals to my face, you’d see I’m horrified right now.
I forget, what are you these days, gay or straight? Wait, let me do a little test. Okay, there’s a penis and a vagina in a tent. And it’s on fire. Which do you save?
Rule number one.Unless you’re served in a frosted glass, never come within four feet of my lips.
Your boyfriend’s a big flaming feather-wearing man-kissing disco-dancing Vermont-living Christina Aguilera-loving Mikanos-going, honey, take it on home.
Husbands come and go but the Chanel sling back is forever.
You’ll do it like every self-respecting woman does. Get on your back, point your heels to Jesus and think of hand bags
She doesn’t know Jack’s gay? What is she, headless?
Sorry I’m late. Oh, God, that sounded insincere. I’m late.