Unmothered, on Mother’s Day
Whilst perusing the various websites this morning in search of interesting stories for the spud, I found this amazing article in the Slate. The author speaks of her trouble with Mother’s day, it seems its in May in the US and some other countries. So much of what she wrote resonates with me… in particular this paragraph:
In Motherless Daughters, journalist Hope Edelman notes that “the motherless child symbolizes a darker, less fortunate self. Her plight is everyone’s nightmare, at once impossible to imagine and impossible to ignore. Yet to openly acknowledge her loss would mean to acknowledge the same potential for one’s self.” Edelman is talking specifically about children who lose their mothers at a young age—but, in a sense, losing a close mother at any age is a nightmare. The mother-child bond can be so strong, so unlike any other, that it is categorically irreplaceable. Unmothered is not a word in the dictionary, but, I often find myself thinking it should be. The “real” word most like it—it never escapes me—is unmoored. The irreplaceability is what becomes stronger—and stranger—as the months pass: Am I really she who has woken up again without a mother? Yes, I am.
I found the book on ebay and have ordered it. I’m not sure if it will help any, because I still can’t use the D word to describe what happened. Its always silly phrases like ’she’s not around’ or ’she’s elsewhere’. Its too overwhelming to grasp the concept of the person just not being. When you do, you start questiong yourself. If they’re not here with us, where are they? What if there’s no afterlife, what if I won’t meet up with them again? Then it starts getting scary and you end up having some sort of existential crisis. Which I don’t see as a good thing so maybe I’m okay with pretending she’s on a long holiday. Maybe I don’t have to ‘deal with it’ as some of the those wonderful self help books put it. In my head, she’s nearby and that suits me just fine. Speaking off things sober and D related, this joke make me chortle a bit and yes it is more xkcd
