Finishing the laundry the other day, I was folding a sheet up when I spied some writing on it.
Sure enough, there in all its glory was a couple of paragraphs written in god only knows what language, black pen no less.

Mammy2 informed me it was Thebes or something like that , an old language the kid taught herself so no-one else could read what she wrote, what a cunning plan, now if only she refrained from writing on sheets and duvet covers.

The art project is nearing an end, as are we. We were looking to rent another room to house her painting. Once the painting is finished, its onto the Model and then calligraphy. Oh joy. I don’t know how to break it to her that she was 8 other subjects. Maybe Mammy2 might do that.

She’s following on from her empath declaration by announcing she doesn’t need therapy or pills any more, all that was wrong with her was that she was feeling everyone else’s pain?!
Ahem, so the other day when she was upset, she was obviously tapping into O’Connor’s misery at his Olympic gold being taken from him. I calmed explained that empaths can suffer from depression to. She levelled a glare at me and went back to painting the television. Everything in the apartment has a hint of green or red.

Recently, only after my head did 4 revolutions did she decide to paper down on the floor ‘in case’ she dropped some paint.

She’s taken to staying up late and working on her art and awakens like an extra from Night of the Living Dead. She’d look like a panda only for the scowl. She was exhausting for most of the Easter weekend because the other sister was home and this warranted extra attention stealing ploys, like asking me when was it legal for her to have sex, when could she get a tattoo and when were we giving her money to buy fake ID so she could go to see Slayer. 30 euros apparently she needs to buy fake ID so she can get an ticket, for 55 euros to go see Slayer.

The glue from the wings of her model must be making her have hallucinations. Myself and the sister made a joke about Slayer and I think my hair caught fire from the scowl she pulled. Lots of texting random people about how we were such bad parents cause we didn’t let her go to an over 18s gig. EVERYONE is going to see Slayer. I expressed my doubts at this. More glares. Less hair, etc.

She finally got over this Slayer thing and went back to her model which I have to say is looking odd. Its got longer legs then Helena Christensen. I’m sure when she pops the cape and skull onto it, it’ll be cool as per usual. She’s amazing the way she can turn regular looking things into works of art. And most curtains into flared jeans. She’s got a talent.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, March 30th, 2005 at 9:35 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

10 months ago today we were in ICU in St James hospital waiting for Mam to stop breathing. Lovely memory there I thought I’d share with you. We were told it could be anything between a few hours or a few days before she’d finally leave us. She was full of so many drugs and hooked up to so many machines it was hard to tell.

It was such a werid day, sitting in the waiting room, walking out to the garden, arguing with the extended family about funeral arrangements and trying at the same time to get them to shut up because she was still alive.

Back to the kid, we brought her shopping at the weekend. It was Mammy2’s first time shopping with her and she was a bit anxious. Up at 9, breakfast and we hit the shops for 10. First to the mecca for all good black wearing teenagers, Asha. Mammy2 was doing well to keep up, she was also on high alert for anyone giving the kid the hairy eyeball. The kids style causes people to actually stop and stare and considering the rugby weekend that was in it, the French had a field day with her. It has to be a culture thing, because once Mammy2 stood in your face, you weren’t going to continue staring. They did?!

Going into one shop, I thought we’d lost her and she was nose to nose with the guy on the door who was giving the kid the once over. Ridiculous in this day and age you can’t dress however you like.
The kid’s quite funny when she’s purchasing, you or I would like at something and get it in our size, try it on and that would be that. She buys it, takes a scissor to it and voila
from t-shirt to string vext complete with safety pins. She brought this shapeless black dress, by Saturday night it fitted her exactly.

Mammy2 was delighted because it was the most amount of material we’d seen on her. Onto Pennies for underwear and at exactly 12.30 we were done. After lunch she wanted to head home and not by herself, so I headed back with her and then came back out to watch the match, I won’t comment on it. The result was extremely disappointing and we’ve it all to do next week. People seem more focused on the triple crown the six nations title, so I suppose I should just go with that. Sunday, I tried to get some work done , I still have a contract to finish and its turning into a bigger job then I anticipated. I think I shall take a break after I finish this. I want some spare time!

Sunday was one of our anniversaries, 6 years onwards from when we first met! So, we went out for a bite to eat. The kid was having panic attacks about her Junior Cert. It lasted all of 5 mins. I think it might have been brought on by us asking her to tidy her room.

Yesterday she had band practice. She has a band, allegedyly. She’s never met any of them. For band practice, read hanging out with the guitarist. Heading to bed last night, she called me over to show me that the safety pin in her ear hadn’t gotten infected?! I told her removing it would make sure it didn’t get infected.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 15th, 2005 at 6:19 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

It was a strange weekend. One which I had been dreading and at the same time wanting to get over it. The assault from most card shops was hard to take, especially when they had those horrible soppy cards that mam loved so much. You know the ones that have four fold out pages that go on about how fantastic the mother is?? Yeah, those sort. Its quite difficult to avoid if you enter any shop or switch on a TV. Any time an for it came on, the kid was chucking stuff at the TV, a healthy way to deal methinks!

She’s well chuffed with her art at the moment, her art teacher told her that she’d get an A in Leaving Cert Art for her work so far, so all other subjects are thrown to one side.
Friday night we rented our Pet Cemetery, not a particularly scary film but the kid was beside herself with fear, certain parts of it gave her a new hair style and me a lot of bruises, she has a habit of holding on very tightly to whatever part of your body she grabs during a scary bit. The amount of bruises that are on my right arm are building up quite nicely! The film scared her so much she slept in with us.

We travelled down to visit Mam’s grave on Saturday and put flowers on it for mother’s day. The kid stayed home and worked on her art. She’s not a big visiting graves fan. It’s weird when you stand at the headstone and see Mam’s name, it feels odd. Of course trying to find room to put down the flowers was another thing, my extended family are big fans of plaques, the tackier the better. There’s about 7 of them on the grave, ranging from Best Sister to beloved Granny and Granddad, its my grandparents plot.

Funny how when she was alive some people wouldn’t spend anything on her, and since she’s passed on, her grave is covered with expensive plaques. Muppets.

Its strange the things you end up asking for in a shop when you’ve got a kid. Barbed wire for instance, if anyone knows where I can get some can you email me? She’s doing some art project and she needs barb wire and feathers. I don’t ask questions, I just take orders.

Spent most of yesterday doing housework and sorting out paperwork , trying to prepare ourselves financially for the undertaking of another child. We’re also looking into maybe getting a house, even renting as space is becoming an issue with the kid at the moment and with another child in the place, a two-bed roomed apartment could get crowded very quickly.

Buying a house in Dublin is a nightmare from a money point of view and every other point of view, the only houses it appears that you can afford are in the middle of 10,000 other houses?

I prefer apartments but the kid’s planning on dogs, cats, possible tigers, who knows with that child!

We went to the cinema last night to see the Boogeyman, Mammy2 stayed at home for our safety as PMT reared its ugly head. I should have known something was wrong when she embraced the cleaning yesterday but declined to comment on it for my own safety. The Boogeyman is crap, some scary moments as my arm will testify to as she sunk her nails into it whenever she got afraid.

Walking home, after deciding that waiting 18 minutes for a Luas to bring us 15 minutes to the apartment, we pondered over what Mam would have made of the Luas and it was strange because I think its the first time myself and the kid have actually spoken about her voluntarily and when its just the two of us. Maybe its a sign that things are starting to get better.

Or maybe the kid was just high on popcorn and fizzy drinks!
One never knows….

This entry was posted on Monday, March 7th, 2005 at 9:40 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

Its great getting up in the morning with her, after she abuses you over breakfast, you get to stand at the bus stop with her while she tells you that not only do you look crap, but you have one eyebrow. Its quite disconcerting to turn from checking to see where the bus is and having her 1 cm from your face.

She has a thing for eyebrows, mainly because her’s are non-existent and she has to draw them in. I’m all for whatever she does with them, but does she have to get rid of them completely?!
On the plus side, she got up. Which is a start, she hasn’t been back to school since the mocks so fingers crossed the teachers leave her alone.

If she can get through the next two months she’ll be grand. She was online for most of last night, family pictures are going to consist of the back of her head these days. The boyf is online a lot and so they chat. These days she’s on the pc more then I am, and that’s saying something.
While she demands tea/coffee, whatever’s going. I was supposed to be going training last night but she who controls our lives decided it was family night and we ordering takeout and renting a DVD. Now, in theory sounds like a plan.

For DVD, read horror and nothing less will do, not alone that but she talks all the way
through the film.

Takeout is curried chips? Its the idea of it she likes, methinks. The Phone wasn’t available to rent last night so I settled on the Spiral, sequel to the Ring. Notice a common round theme there , yip. Thing is I’d seen most of the original Ring and wasn’t a fan, why I thought the sequel would be better, I don’t know?!!

It was terrible. Halfway through the movie, some sex scene was thrown in for sake of it, whilst I sat there going “Plot, what plot?” The music was like some dodgy jazz cd from the 80s. I’d recommend this film!

She’s got her meeting with Solas this evening, I hope it goes well. I always have images of her in the room, chatting away about her lesbian mammies and how the L Word is always on and we’re always talking about sperm and babies. I’m sure she doesn’t do that, but the image is quite scary.

I have a website meeting tonight with the AP lads and lassies to discuss the spanner who attacked the site, I refuse to say hack cause hackers can be intelligent at times, this person downloaded some brain cells off the internet and put them to use.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 3rd, 2005 at 5:31 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

Its snowing, well, sleeting and its soooo lovely. Everyone else walking to work at a face on them but I was loving it.

There’s something quite peaceful and serene about snow falling. The other two, ie Mammy 2 and the kid are still tucked up in bed. Yes she made it home this time, it was a 30 minute wait for her in the arrivals section but she finally came through the gates. She looked older, I know its silly but it’s a whole week since I’ve seen her and she looked a lot more mature, maybe the flight aged her prematurely or something..

It was good to see her again, despite all the ranting I do about her! She is dying of a cold, which she picked up courtesy of K, the sister. I’ll made sure to thank her when I was talking to her yesterday.
Everything was grand, she was all excited talking about how fantastic Holland was and how great her new boyf was and everything. She picked up some dutch phrases, all curse words of course.

Then once she got back to the apartment the post holiday blues kicked in and she became the moody teenager we’ve grown to love so well. She was texting her best mate D, who of course mentioned school and was she going in today. Now, the first thing you want to talk about when you return from a holiday is definetly not school or work.

Also her cold was too bad to be sending her anywhere but bed, so that put an end to that conversation. Mammy2 escaped to bed, well, she was dying of a cold as well and I dived into the nearest web mag. She went online to email her boyf and was going in about how crap it was to be home and how ireland ’sucked’.

She was of this opinion before, folks, so this is nothing new, except now she was evidence to back it up with! She wanted us all to move to Holland or just abroad.
I laughed and then realised she was serious and that laughing might only antagonise her more. Back to the web mag.

She was getting progressively mooder and by the time I had headed to bed and told her to get into her jammies, she was in foul form. Eventually she came into to talk to us and told us how miserable she was here etc and she loved Holland and wanted to move there.

Now was not the time for me to throw the “You want to do what?! But you’re 15, you haven’t even sat your Junior Cert yet?” etc speech as it was 12.15 in the morning and I had plans for be in work for 7.30.

So, we calmly discussed things saying in the next few months we would try and sort somethig out. This was to buy me some time, not that for a minute I was suggesting that she up sticks and move to Holland with no education.And I could just see K’s face when she arrived on the door with bag and baggage.

She was sick and tired and no doubt meet up with her best mate today and maybe feel a wee bit better. She is very like K though, and I can’t really see her settling in Ireland once she’s travelled at all.

I suppose in one way, this place has no hold for her now without Mam around and she probably feels it easier to escape all the problems life throws at her here by running off to another country. As long as she gets that bit of paper she say she has a Leaving Cert behind her, I don’t mind what she ends up doing with her life, after all it is her life, she can be a drummer or an artist as far as I’m concerend once she’s happy. But there is no way we can stand back and let her gallinvant
off at 15.

Mam would probably conduct a seance and try to get in touch with us to slap us. Or maybe she might just text us, wonder if she’s Meteor?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 23rd, 2005 at 4:30 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.