Whilst perusing the various websites this morning in search of interesting stories for the spud, I found this amazing article in the Slate. The author speaks of her trouble with Mother’s day, it seems its in May in the US and some other countries. So much of what she wrote resonates with me… in particular this paragraph:

In Motherless Daughters, journalist Hope Edelman notes that “the motherless child symbolizes a darker, less fortunate self. Her plight is everyone’s nightmare, at once impossible to imagine and impossible to ignore. Yet to openly acknowledge her loss would mean to acknowledge the same potential for one’s self.” Edelman is talking specifically about children who lose their mothers at a young age—but, in a sense, losing a close mother at any age is a nightmare. The mother-child bond can be so strong, so unlike any other, that it is categorically irreplaceable. Unmothered is not a word in the dictionary, but, I often find myself thinking it should be. The “real” word most like it—it never escapes me—is unmoored. The irreplaceability is what becomes stronger—and stranger—as the months pass: Am I really she who has woken up again without a mother? Yes, I am.

I found the book on ebay and have ordered it. I’m not sure if it will help any, because I still can’t use the D word to describe what happened. Its always silly phrases like ’she’s not around’ or ’she’s elsewhere’. Its too overwhelming to grasp the concept of the person just not being. When you do, you start questiong yourself. If they’re not here with us, where are they? What if there’s no afterlife, what if I won’t meet up with them again? Then it starts getting scary and you end up having some sort of existential crisis. Which I don’t see as a good thing so maybe I’m okay with pretending she’s on a long holiday. Maybe I don’t have to ‘deal with it’ as some of the those wonderful self help books put it. In my head, she’s nearby and that suits me just fine. Speaking off things sober and D related, this joke make me chortle a bit and yes it is more xkcd

This entry was posted on Friday, May 7th, 2010 at 1:27 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

So says the Kid after watching the lady in action. Last night was sister’s night and although I was reaching epic levels of exhaustion after a long and socialable weekend, I dragged my ass from the comfortable couch to a double class. Regular followed by syllabus to see how much my double kicks sucked. By the way epic is our new word du jour. Not sure if it will replace Emo but its up there at the moment, par example the only way we could describe the Madonna episode of Glee was Gleepic, yes we are that nerdy. I digress. The kid had her first syllabus class and after a bad start, involving her, a skipping rope and lack of breath, she managed to get into the swing of things. She was a bit nervous about it because she wouldn’t be partnered with me but luckily it was a small class so there was 1 instructor to each person which was great. Almost like a small private class. Of course after I had a great run on the bag on Sat with double roundkicks, yesterday they sucked. To the shin and to the knee rather then body and head. I need to learn to lean over. I need to learn not to be scared of falling over. Work balence work and I reckon I’ll get it. Still, it was good to get another syllabus class done and learn some of the techniques. We came home and we were so buzzed by all things martial arty we headed onto Youtube and watched Gina kick ass. In bed by 11 but am still shattered.

The weekend was manic but in a really enjoyable way. The sister flew in on Thursday night with the boyf and the littlest titch so there was lots of chats and bonding. After lots of qt with them, we headed away on the Saturday to Westport for the dad-in-law’s 70th bday bash. More family bonding and playing games with small people. I remembered to pack Scrabble and uno and it came in really handy when entertaining the kids after dinner. They are all of the age now where I can talk to them, as I don’t do baby talk. Mammy2’s voice was still 2 octaves higher then everyone else after speaking to the little niece S. Travelled home on Monday via Trim to catch up with the mate and her new baby,D who’s a month old. More high pitched ness from Mammy2, more regular talking from me. Home and Mammy2 headed straight to bed after picking up a nasty cold. She had a call from mr hachet man in her workplace to discuss when she is finishing. She has been given 2 months and finishes the end of June. Which sucks, but I guess these things happen. She’s looking around for something else but in the current climate its tough. Its tough at the best of times for her line of work but now its even tougher. Hopefully she will get something. In the meantime everything is on hold from clinic to deposit which is pants. I don’t want to focus on it else I’ll get a bit disillusioned. I’ve been dealing so far, training is great for it, but if I start to look further then a month in advance I get a headache. So no looking further

The kid finished college this week and I think myself and Mammy2 admitted to ourselves we are suprised she made it this far. Not from her perspective, we know she has the dedication and all that, just with everything that was thrown at her. From getting rejected by the grant and the sometimes long commute when she didn’t stay at ours to still fighting her depression. She is an amazing person, I should stop calling her a kid. Her graduation is on May 27th where we’ll be there as proud pseudo-parentals/guardian type people. The letters are being sent out in the next few weeks so we can only wait and hope that Dun Laoghaire make her an offer. I really hope she gets in, I know I am biased but she has worked her ass off and deserves a bit of a break. Not that a 4 year degree course in Animation will be a break, but it will be a start. She’s off to Kiss on Friday night with her man and his wee cousin. They are coming over to ours to get dressed up. For dressed up think this:

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 5th, 2010 at 12:58 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

Or I should say it was Nikata, or the woman who played her in the music video, and not the man himself. Let me explain. Mammy2 is back in flying form and working on an article for Gaelick about our roots, or how we discovered we were gay. Apparently for me, or so she claims, it was the Nikata video by Elton John. I, of course, dismissed such foolish notions until her research unearthed a pic of the lovely lady and really, look at that visage? How could you not turn gay just looking at her? It was the beginning of the end from there on I guess. Once you start with models/athletes , the only way is down or up depending on how you look at it. Next came womens tennis, I loved the game I claimed, the
the fascination with the female teachers. When you think about it how on earth was I straight or pretending to be? Someone should have done me a favour and pointed it out to me. It would have saved a lot of time mooning over boys.

In 2 days time the cute baby arrives. Oh and my sister and her boyf. Can’t wait to see them, she uploaded recent pics to the server and it seems every time we see her she’s changed. I suppose babies tend to do that. Tonight the kid is over for a bayting. We’re going to head to class and then I am going to try and get her to watch Silence of the Lambs. She is constantly throwing out the quote “put the lotion in the basket” and hasn’t a clue what its about. Much like “Wax on, wax off” before she finally watched the Karate Kid, youngsters these days. Apparently she doesn’t want to watch it in case she gets scared, says the lady who loves horror movies? I’ll do my best to work on her.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 27th, 2010 at 4:35 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

I am determined not to turn into a moany ould coot with every post so this post will feature bullet points of my week and
why I am looking forward to next week and seeing the sister K and the cutest baby in the world. But firstly, some Glee

Gives you hell

Loving the new episodes, am refusing to read negative reviews. You know what, Glee is what it is, it doesn’t pretend to be anything else. Its feelgood television with a kick ass soundtrack and some hot ladies and guys. Take it or leave but stop giving out about it!

The week can be surmised as follows

1) Mammy2 still very sick (some people will get talking tos but that’s another story)
2) Work is epic, I mean, I had lunch at my desk for the last couple of days, there’s so much going on.
3) People decided to throw tantrums and throw toys out of pram and so on, I don’t get angry people, they use
so much of their energy on it.
4) PMT was really bad again, I may have to get of that primrose oil and see if it works magic.
5) The brother getting annoyed about me asking him to come up next week at 12 instead of 11.

Depression is a horrible horrible illness. Its so hard to see someone you love try and fight and there’s nothing you can do about it. The fight is in their head and they have to get through it and you can is watch. Sure you can say supportive words and provide hugs and comfort but it never feels like its enough. You just want to crawl into their head and fix it. We seem to have been through the worst of it and are coming out the other side. Thankfully.

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 22nd, 2010 at 12:59 pm You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 at 11:27 am You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.